Hello all of you few people who still check this occasionally :) So I have been horrible at keeping this up, but I do have somewhat of an excuse and that is that I'm forced to go to a library or Starbucks for internet since ours is not working...still...at the apartment...oh well though. Um, let's see. On one hand I feel like I have SO much to write about, and on the other....not a lot's happened. I guess that's not very true. But you know. I'll just give you all a brief synopsis of my past month here in San Diego and then I'll try to keep up on this better if anything really does start to happen.
So I arrived in SD! My apartment is great and I can walk to the beach from here. It's a very hippy-ish beach which is really fun actually, and some of the nicer beaches are within 5 minutes drive from my apartment. My roommates are incredible, honestly couldn't have asked for two better roommates for having practically been strangers when I moved in! God is good. My family down here has been great to see, and it has resulted in some babysitting jobs which I honestly don't know what I would have done without...financially speaking. So that's been great. I've been spending my days looking for jobs, (I just had an interview Thursday and am having another one Tuesday so please pray for me!!! I need money!!!), looking for churches which has not been altogether as painful or annoying as I thought it would be, and just hanging out, getting to know my roommates and their friends and spending a lot of great time with just me. The nice thing about here is there is a lot to do for free! Like go to beaches, drive on over to Coronado island and browse the boutiques, I've already scoped out a lot of Starbucks and am still trying to find my favorite one. It's a very important decision after all!
Last night my roommate and her friends and I went to about three different places in the city with big Christmas presentations and lights and hot chocolate and amazing stuff like that so it was super fun! It actually is starting to feel like Christmas here despite the palm trees. AND I think I actually felt about three drops of rain yesterday...I could have cried I was so happy! :) hahaha And the other night we walked into our friends house where a bunch of us were going to have dinner and I walked into the living room and he had the CIVIL WAR ON THE TV!!!! I hadn't met most of the people there but in true Brooke fashion I started freaking out! I didn't even know they were showing it down here! So I stayed and watched the whole game and was FREAKING OUT the whole time and the DUCKS WON!!! WOOT WOOT!! :) It made me SO flipping proud to be an Oregonian....ahhhh. It was amazing :)
To say the transition has been a roller coaster would be the understatement of the century. I will have really really great days, and then really really bad days where I just want to come home. But in all of that I have never allowed leaving to be an option. First of all it's WAY to soon to judge anything because I'm not even settled in yet. I need to give it time to find my way around, find and get involved in a church and start working so I can actually alleviate some of this stress that I seem to live under right now. I have realized though still being at the beginning, more tough part of this transition, that I really believe God wants to use this time to allow me to just focus on me and HIM, my personal relationship with God without the "pressure" (even though it's a good pressure) of being a leader, or having a lot of responsibilities. So instead of getting frustrated with the lack of "connection" here so far, I'm trying to see it as a gift to sort of figure out who I am in Christ. I have not been proud of how I've conducted myself sometimes in my life, and every time that's happened God's faithfulness is just pounded into my heart even more, and so hopefully I've learned something. Because when I start to act in a way I know I shouldn't be and am inclined to shower myself with guilt and start getting angry with myself and God and running away, I'm learning to turn that over quicker to just thankfulness to God's faithfulness, and remembering who I am in Him. The BIGGEST thing I've realized being here is that my identity is not determined by WHERE I'm at or WHO I'm with, but it is determined by how much I allow God to shine in me. I want to shine to others and I beat myself up so much that I haven't changed the world in my less than one month of being in SD, and He's just reminded me that to change the world should not be my focus. My focus needs to be on allowing God to change my heart and focus on changing what I need to change, and therefore the shining will come naturally. This morning at a church I visited the message was on turning our feeling of being "overwhelmed by circumstances" into being "overwhelmed by God"....ah I love it when God does that. Directs a specific message to our specific need...I don't know why this surprises me so much still?? Oh Brooke Brooke Brooke...
So all in all, I'm trying to stay positive and I'm trying to just stop trying so hard :) And just be, let God be who He is, and let me be human and make mistakes, and just trying to "let" all of that work together to build me in this season.
Prayer requests would be: TO FIND A CHURCH! There are so many good ones! It's not even that I can't find one I like, it's that there are a lot of good ones and I just really want to know where God wants me to be so I can start getting involved.
TO FIND A JOB! Oh man, the reasons for this are obvious...but I am trusting in God and I know He is faithful
TO REALLY LET GO AND LET GOD MOVE IN MY LIFE. I need to lose the expectations, the ideas and dreams and ways I think things should work out, because I know that those come from God, but therefore I need to let go of them and let Him manifest them in my life how He has planned. It would save me a lot of disappointment considering NOTHING I have ever planned has ever worked out the way I thought it would :) But I'm not bitter or anything ;) haha
AND THAT I WOULD FIND A GOOD SUPPORT SYSTEM DOWN HERE AND NOT FEEL SO HOMESICK. That being said...God has already started to provide this, I just need peace in my heart. Wisdom in my brain.
Also...one last note, I have been TRYING to post pictures on my facebook and facebook gives me a flipping error every single time! So please be patient...if you even care :) hahaha,
Oh! And I'm coming home for Christmas! I'll be home Dec20-Jan3rd so hit me up if you want to come see me :) I love you all and miss you SO FLIPPING MUCH!
