How Bizarre, How Bizarre

I love working in a place where every single day is different from the one before. Right now we are in the process of really detailed definitions of what our goals are out here at Roosevelt, and we're organizing volunteer opportunities to give anyone and everyone a chance to really serve if their heart so desires. And yet, it's been a difficult task because there is literally something different coming up nearly every day. It's good though :) It's great actually. Just a little bizarre. I was just writing back and forth this morning with Kristine, who established the gigantic shoes we are now trying to fill ;), and I just was struck with how bizarre this job is :) It's so weird! A church in a public school reaching out to the students and community. Homecoming planning is ministry now, and yet it's just what Jesus did. He went fishing with, ate meals with and celebrated with the people that He was reaching out to.
Yesterday I actually said the name of Jesus to a student for the first time. That is definitely not something that happens out here, and I actually really like that. I'll explain the context to you though...He asked Heather and I what kind of a church we went to, and he asked "Is it an open church?" When I asked him what he meant by that he said that most Christians were very closed minded. Heather and I told him our hearts as a church were to show others what we are for, rather than what we are against. And then I said, "We absolutely believe that Jesus Christ is the Savior, and we believe that He is all about relationships, so that's what we are about." He seemed to take this answer really well and we proceeded onto conversations about finding food he could feed his mice, among other things. I almost felt like I had done something wrong at first, but I know that it was God.
I've been overwhelmed with the concept of fearing God recently. I feel like Satan has been extremely sneaky in the past week to two weeks to really discourage me. And I've actually been letting it happen a bit. But multiple things have happened within the course of just a few days that have been hammering the idea of the Fear of God into my head. On Friday night I had the privilege of meeting with some amazing girls, and each one of us brought a verse and some thoughts on it, and every single one had one common denominator: When we fear God with our whole hearts, it leads to submission, trust, and dying to ourselves which leads to God being manifested in our lives. And then Kip spoke this weekend on turning away from the desire to love this world. I took that one step further and felt like I needed to stop letting the view this world had about ME make me feel less about myself. Satan uses this world to make us feel like we are alone, that we don't have what it takes, that there's always someone or something better than us and on and on and on. The fight against this idea is the heart behind what we're doing here at Roosevelt, and the heart behind how I want to treat everyone in my life. We want to stop that idea from spreading and show people what incredible value every single life has!
With all of the discouragement that I feel has been trying to take over my heart, I realized that by simply being reminded of the BIGNESS of God, and His love for me, and HIS opinion of me, is the only way to see myself and stay in the stride of God. I want to be so caught up in His will, His opinion and His purpose that wisdom and purpose oozes out of every action I take and every word I say. I believe this comes out of being on my face before God and developing an ever deepening fear of the Lord, an ever deepening realization of how BIG He is and at the same time an ever deepening realization of how CHOSEN I am. We all are, and no matter what bizarre situation we find ourselves in, we can be sure that if we're following Him, we are exactly where we are supposed to be. I want to be able to be trusted by Him in everything, so that bigger and better things can be awaiting me.
I believe it is in this place, the place of pure realization of the unity between us and God, that we can be confident that we have what it takes because God says so. So I'm standing up to the world because, as the beloved elementary school phrase so well puts it, "My dad is bigger than your dad, world".

Today could be the day

I was talking with my brother the other night, listening to his dreams, his passions, his story. I'm very blessed to have a brother who has an inspiring passion. I get inspired by a lot, it doesn't seem to take much for me to get excited about something. Then again it doesn't take much for me to get irritated, angry (always righteously of course):), or sad about something. But I'm so thankful for my passion. Being around passionate people everyday is the greatest thing I could ever ask for.
I believe Jesus was insanely passionate. When people read his stories from The Book as if he were this monotonous biology professor it kills me. He was a man, He was passionate and loved deeply and hurt deeply and expressed all of it. His followers who actually made a difference in this world were passionate, and I long to be one of those. My passion can get me into trouble sometimes, because as passionate as Jesus was, He also knew how to express it and what was appropriate when. That's the little piece I'm still working on :) BUT I am working on it.
Being at this school everyday is the greatest blessing I could have, but it's such a learning period for me on how to tame this passion. Heather and I see kids every single day that don't have anything. Or even if they have some stuff, their souls are still lacking of true life. It took everything in me the other day when a kid came in here and broke down to not reach out and start praying for him immediately...I had to choke it back and just let my soul loose inside of me to start crying out to God while keeping my composure on the outside. But passionate prayer is something that I want to grow in. It's not about the words people hear you saying to God, it's about that soul to soul connection with my Savior on behalf of these PRECIOUS lives that I have the blessing to interact with every single day.
I am considering stopping this blog and beginning one that is specifically for Roosevelt and the work that Southlake is doing everyday out here, not just with Heather, Jeff Jacob and I, but all of the incredible people I speak with every single day from Southlake who are volunteering, helping and desiring to do more. These lives are worth it, just like you and I are worth enough to God that He would do everything He's done in our lives up until this point to get us to where we're at.
I had a girl come in today who was depressed about her weight and saw herself as nothing. We've met kids who's parents are in prison, who's lives have been turned upside down by abuse, a 15 year old who's pregnant and was sent away from her home and goes to doctor's appointments alone on a public bus, kids who's only hope is stealing or selling drugs to support their own families. I'm not naive enough to think this only happens out here either. I see it everywhere. It's brutal to see people through God's eyes sometimes. I see God's opinion of these people, the beauty, value, hope, PASSION about this one individual soul. And it just makes me feel like I can't even breathe sometimes. But I can say God's words, I can speak truth into these lives, and I can let my soul loose and let the Holy Spirit plead to the Father for me on behalf of lost souls. THAT is what we all have the chance to do every single day.
My dad used to live with some guys at an older guys house, and everyday when this older guy would come in and wake them up he'd say, "Today could be the day guys". They lived every single day with the realization that Jesus could be coming back any minute now, just like the days of the first church. Because of that my dad touched more lives by the age of 38 than most people do in a lifetime. They saw every single person they met as a chance to help them meet their creator or serve them in any way they could think of.
My passion can make me have good intentions a lot of the time, but it doesn't always drive me to constant action on behalf of the Lord. I am on a mission to change that. And that comes from constant direct dialogue with my Father and asking Him to show me how every single moment can be dedicated to Him and not to my own selfish desires. After all, today IS the day.