I was talking with my brother the other night, listening to his dreams, his passions, his story. I'm very blessed to have a brother who has an inspiring passion. I get inspired by a lot, it doesn't seem to take much for me to get excited about something. Then again it doesn't take much for me to get irritated, angry (always righteously of course):), or sad about something. But I'm so thankful for my passion. Being around passionate people everyday is the greatest thing I could ever ask for.
I believe Jesus was insanely passionate. When people read his stories from The Book as if he were this monotonous biology professor it kills me. He was a man, He was passionate and loved deeply and hurt deeply and expressed all of it. His followers who actually made a difference in this world were passionate, and I long to be one of those. My passion can get me into trouble sometimes, because as passionate as Jesus was, He also knew how to express it and what was appropriate when. That's the little piece I'm still working on :) BUT I am working on it.
Being at this school everyday is the greatest blessing I could have, but it's such a learning period for me on how to tame this passion. Heather and I see kids every single day that don't have anything. Or even if they have some stuff, their souls are still lacking of true life. It took everything in me the other day when a kid came in here and broke down to not reach out and start praying for him immediately...I had to choke it back and just let my soul loose inside of me to start crying out to God while keeping my composure on the outside. But passionate prayer is something that I want to grow in. It's not about the words people hear you saying to God, it's about that soul to soul connection with my Savior on behalf of these PRECIOUS lives that I have the blessing to interact with every single day.
I am considering stopping this blog and beginning one that is specifically for Roosevelt and the work that Southlake is doing everyday out here, not just with Heather, Jeff Jacob and I, but all of the incredible people I speak with every single day from Southlake who are volunteering, helping and desiring to do more. These lives are worth it, just like you and I are worth enough to God that He would do everything He's done in our lives up until this point to get us to where we're at.
I had a girl come in today who was depressed about her weight and saw herself as nothing. We've met kids who's parents are in prison, who's lives have been turned upside down by abuse, a 15 year old who's pregnant and was sent away from her home and goes to doctor's appointments alone on a public bus, kids who's only hope is stealing or selling drugs to support their own families. I'm not naive enough to think this only happens out here either. I see it everywhere. It's brutal to see people through God's eyes sometimes. I see God's opinion of these people, the beauty, value, hope, PASSION about this one individual soul. And it just makes me feel like I can't even breathe sometimes. But I can say God's words, I can speak truth into these lives, and I can let my soul loose and let the Holy Spirit plead to the Father for me on behalf of lost souls. THAT is what we all have the chance to do every single day.
My dad used to live with some guys at an older guys house, and everyday when this older guy would come in and wake them up he'd say, "Today could be the day guys". They lived every single day with the realization that Jesus could be coming back any minute now, just like the days of the first church. Because of that my dad touched more lives by the age of 38 than most people do in a lifetime. They saw every single person they met as a chance to help them meet their creator or serve them in any way they could think of.
My passion can make me have good intentions a lot of the time, but it doesn't always drive me to constant action on behalf of the Lord. I am on a mission to change that. And that comes from constant direct dialogue with my Father and asking Him to show me how every single moment can be dedicated to Him and not to my own selfish desires. After all, today IS the day.
