I keep trying to open my eyes wider, thinking somehow that will penetrate the fog around me better. Everywhere I look I see nothing. Sight is my only sense impaired however. I can hear things that tell me this isn't a bad fog...which is funny since I've only ever associated fog with the unknown which usually, to me, equals bad. Think about when you're driving in fog though, it forces you to slow down; to pay very close attention to everything around you so you're ready for anything!
I can't see anything around me, but I can feel, hear, taste...once in a while I'll hear laughter nearby, sometimes I'll smell something amazing, and everytime I face myself a little bit in that direction as best as I know how. One thing that's certain is that my Father is directly next to, over, in front of and behind me. Lately I haven't even really been able to see Him, but the knowledge of His presence has never been stronger. He plants those sounds, those tastes. He knows what can move me in the slightest difference in direction to keep me on track. Sometimes he spins me completely around and I start going in a different direction altogether, still not a clue of where I'll end up.
I've always associated fog with being bad, but it simply means that my plans regarding direction and where to go have literally disappeared, and this is probably the best thing that could ever happen. I can dream, I can work towards something, but if my life is going to be completely submitted to Jesus, then the fog is necessary. It keeps me from getting distracted by the places that simply LOOK good, and it keeps my senses and my direction completely surrendered and sensitive to Jesus. After all, it's when we can't see ahead of us, yet keep going, that we are DIRECTLY in the center of God's will for our lives. Even Jesus had a different opinion on how He wished His life could go, but He ended His prayer with absolute surrender to God's will, “Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” Luke 22:42
I'm hours away from getting on a plane to Nicaragua. I'm excited but this is completely out of my control, I have no other choice but to stretch my hand out in the fog and keep walking forward trusting in my awesome God. I get back and one week later move home to Portland with still not a clue about what I'm going back for, all I know is that is the direction God has shifted me towards.
I keep walking forward, keep surrendering as well as I know how, and keep my hand stretched out to my Father knowing that in less than an instant He's there to grab me when I stumble.
The key is staying expectant and excited in the midst of the thickest fog. Lord let my soul take over, and my fleshly worries and fears be taken away into the fog I walk through.
