It has been a little bit since I've written. One excuse is that I've been really busy, and then the truth is just that I haven't really felt like writing. Not in a bad way necessarily, I just haven't been in the mood. It's been a crazy last month or so though, my mom came and visited me :) and then one of my great friends Andrea came to see me. Both trips included plenty of planned and un-planned adventures. Then I was in Georgia for my cousins wedding which was so amazing. I LOVE being with my family, I love being with friends both new and old, I love staying up all night celebrating haha :) It was just a good time all around.
I have been doing more writing in private lately rather than on this blog and realized I'm challenged to just stop talking so much. To shut my mouth about my opinions and rather start living in a much more up-standing way, therefore being an example of my opinions. I'm not saying that I'm going to stop writing or that I don't think words matter, but what are our words if not backed up by something? When it really comes down to it, words are words, but it's the heart and the life behind them that matter.
I love going to Coronado Island down here and walking around the old Hotel Del Coronado. Part of what gets me are the tales of it being haunted. I love stuff like that. And I definitely believe in the spiritual world, in what context that is in reality I don't know, but I just love learning about it and hearing about scary stories. There's this gift shop in the hotel that has a book about the hauntings and I go in and read it and walk around...sort of weird but whatever :)
There's also basically a shrine to Marilyn Monroe because the old movie "Some Like it Hot" was filmed there. This got me thinking, and I am just as guilty as the next person on this next thought...So many people quote her, look up to her, and this goes for pretty much any other celebrity (again, I am including myself in this I promise!), and then you read about the reality of her life (which I have considering I'm obsessed with biographies) and it's filled with depression, drugs, a constant desire to just be loved, ending in a very lonely, young, empty death. And yet we idealize her life, her quotes on being "young and alive and free and defiant and strong! etc..." when really she maybe wanted to be those...but the desire only really made it into a quote, not a life.
I don't want to be summed up by my quotes, my declarations, my spoken desires to be more than I am. I want to be summed up by my life, my actions. I fail at this, but I think to a point we all do, it's just recognizing this and actually trying to DO something about it rather than write about it (ironic that I'm writing about it)or post inspirational quotes (guilty again). None of these things are wrong, but it has to be BACKED UP by our lives and actions.
I can attest personally to the frailty of words spoken with no action. When my dad died nothing anyone said could help, but those that were there, the hugs, the shared tears, that is what I remember. The other night my roommate was having a horrible time and all I could do was hold her, I didn't even try to say anything. There was nothing to say. But I could be there for her.
Sometimes the nicest thing we can do is keep our mouths shut. No derogatory words, no "I told you so's", just pure love, grace, acceptance. Not saying anything can be the greatest act of love at times.
So there I've said it! :) This is a pretty obvious problem in our society, but I really am going to try and make a difference in my life in this area. I take this on as my own personal challenge, to shut my mouth at times and just listen to the Holy Spirit and how He's leading me to actually love, to only write about things if I truly intend for my life to reflect it, and then make that more than an intention and turn it into a reality.
Thanks for listening :) Now hopefully I'll be able to act out my love to ya'll...there's a little of my adopted-by-choice southern Georgia accent I wish I had.
Until next time...let's go live!
