Hey everyone! I thought I should give a little update as to what is going on in my life, as we all know, that changes a lot. It's hard for me that it changes a lot. Part of it is exciting, but part of it frustrates me. People will say "you have the whole world ahead of you!!" and I'm like...ya? and that's a good thing??? Don't get me wrong, I am so excited at the prospect of anything happening and having so many options, but at the same time I kind of hate that. It's like, once I would love to just settle down with something...or someone. But I am very hopeful for the future. I am so hopeful, and yet so ready to move on because of that hope! I am ready to leave town! I don't mean this in any negative way about anything or anyone who is here right now in Portland, I'm just so ready to start building a new chapter.
Speaking of! I'm packing up whatever fits in my beetle and hitting the road a week from Monday, November 2nd, to head directly to San Francisco the first day. I might have a friend driving with me which would be so fun! Then I'll spend a couple days in SF with a friend and then head down to LA to see Elli and Lynz, Destiny, Berge, Rachel, Gina, Mickey, Minnie..everyone! :) haha. Then a few days later I'll make my last little hop down to SD. I am almost positive that I will have a job starting in January nannying which would be awesome because the schedule and money would enable me to satart taking classes again! I also am 99.99% sure that I have an apartment with two awesome girls to move into starting in November. God is so good! He literally put both of these awesome opportunities (job and apartment) right into my lap. I didn't try to get or ask for any of them. Isn't it crazy how when we try so hard to make things work it is so stressful, and when we just give up total control to God He makes the path THAT MUCH GREATER! My apartment is 1.5 miles from Ocean Beach and 5 miles from downtown and amazingly affordable and nice! God is good. Plus He's given me two great, fun, Christian girls to live with...so much more to that story but summed up...God always knows what we need and WANT and wants to bless us!
I mentioned I'm ready to leave, I think it's just because it's honestly hard to still be here, sort of feeling a little "phased out" with my friends here, and not having a job (although I have been working for Bob a bit for some big projects he had, which is such a blessing financially!). But it's just hard to see everyone moving on with their lives and plans for the fall, not saying this shouldn't happen at all! It's just hard to not be able to be a part of the plans and still not yet be in my new place I'm headed to. It's just limbo...and limbo sucks sometimes.
My brother and I had lunch the other day though and I was sort of venting to him because it's hard to still come to grips with the zigzag God's sort of led me on the last few weeks. Part of me even worries that it will give a negative example to others about God because I was so sure that God had called me to Nicaragua, and I don't want it to look like I was just to afraid or backed out because I didn't want to do it, because honestly, I feel like going to San Diego after making other plans is testing my faith more than anything else. And that's what my brother pointed out. He asked me where my faith was now compared to when I came home from Nicaragua, and I know it's honestly deeper now. And I know that's worth it for everything I'm experiencing right now. And that's good for me to focus on because it's sometimes hard to stay hopeful.
So this is my last week in Ptown for a while! I'm sad to leave, it's exciting, but it's really sad for me still. But I KNOW that God has so so so much for me in this next chapter of my life. It was so cool, because I went to a church plant last Saturday night called Door of Hope in the Hawthorn district and he was talking about how if we want to see revival in our cities or families or countries, we must first have a revival in us. And I started hearing from God to EXPECT GREAT THINGS TO COME. Expect Expect Expect. Well then last Wednesday I went to worship night at Southlake and Kip got up and challenged everyone that God was wanting to tell us to EXPECT MORE! I got goosebumps everywhere. It was just so confirming that God is wanting to seriously do more and show me more of Him than EVER before. And I need a revival in me to see great things around me. And I think I'm ready :) Plus it doesn't hurt that I'll be able to walk to an amazing sunny beach at my disposal :) Thank you Jesus!
Call me! I want to see everyone next week before I leave! Love you all!!!
